Pumpkin Muffins

My dear friend Carolyn coined the phrase “President of the Lazy Club” in college to describe individuals who take the easier route – especially when one isn’t necessarily needed. Since I never found making muffins that taxing, I think the Presidents may have found their signature snack.

Courtesy of a timeless pumpkin feature in the October 22, 1986 issue of The (Everett) Herald, these Pumpkin Muffins are so easy my three-year-old nearly made them by himself. The not-so-secret “lazy” ingredient? This month’s highlighted product: Bisquick. And no one is more surprised than I to see Bisquick and pumpkin marry (once again!) in another fall recipe. What will they think of next?

It’s a basic muffin recipe – combine dry ingredients, then wet, then put them together. I found the batter quite stiff, which may account for the real surprise when they came out of the oven: They taste like a pumpkin-spice cake doughnut! In fact except for the fact that they were encased in my cute little Mary Engelbreit muffin-cup liners, I would be hard-pressed to call them “muffins” at all.

Now, granted, they’re not as sweet, nor as greasy, as a real doughnut. But how can you complain? When was the last time you made a cake doughnut in seven minutes?

I was especially thrilled by this turn of events because doughnuts always conjure images of fall and especially Halloween for me. When I was 10 years old (the year before this article ran), my brother and I hosted a Halloween party instead of trick-or-treating (a tradition my mother always loathed). Instead, we bobbed for apples and ate popcorn balls with neighborhood kids whose parents also disliked sending their children out to beg candy from strangers. The highlight of the night, though (aside from my Cleopatra costume) was when my mom strung up a clothesline the length of our kitchen and hung doughnuts from various points along the rope. Then, we vied to see who could eat their doughnut first, without using their hands. Try it. It’s hilarious and delicious – and if that’s not a winning combination, I don’t know what is.

Many years later, my husband and I honeymooned in Vermont (12 years ago this month!) and one of my fondest memories of that perfect fall trip was eating cider doughnuts at an apple orchard outside of Woodstock. (Probably too many cider doughnuts, but what did I care? I’d already squeezed into my wedding dress.)

There’s just something about the spice and chew of a cake doughnut that fits perfectly with the crisp bite of fall. I love that these are remarkably easy and also tasty.  I take my oath of office as President of the Lazy Club. Join me.

Pumpkin Muffins

2 cups biscuit mix

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup mashed pumpkin

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 egg, slightly beaten

1/2 cup raisins, if desired

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease bottom of 12 medium muffin cups. Stir dry ingredients together in mixing bowl. Combine milk, pumpkin, oil and egg in a quarter measuring pitcher or bowl. Pour over dry ingredients and mix with fork until barely moistened. Batter should be lumpy. Gently stir in raisins.

Fill muffin cups two-thirds full. Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon sugar over batter in each cup. Bake 15 to 18 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out dry. Remove muffins from pan immediately.

Makes 12. 

Notes:

·      I left out the raisins, and I’m glad I did. They would have ruined the doughnut vibe. But add ‘em (or Craisins, which didn’t come along ‘til after this recipe was published) if you love ‘em.

·      I added a scant ¼ teaspoon of cloves in addition to the other spices. I am almost maniacally driven to include all four spices (cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and clove) in any kind of all recipe (apple pie, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, apple butter … ).

·      I don’t know if turbadino or sanding sugar was widely used in the mid-‘80s, but that would be another consideration for the topping, instead of the granulated that is called for (although it was delicious).

Why Don’t You …

·      Try this batter in a mini doughnut pan so the taste will match the visual? Have you seen these? They’re a great way to bake doughnuts instead of frying them. Mine’s from King Arthur Flour, but I bet they’re widely available at kitchen stores. http://www.kingarthurflour.com/shop/items/mini-doughnut-pan#5249#

"Pumkin" Pie

Brace yourselves, dear readers, because the Time Capsule is about to enter THE BISQUICK PHASE. A section in which all recipes are “impossibly” created in the blender, using everyone’s favorite pancake mix!

(We’ve also entered the PUMPKIN PHASE, but that just doesn’t send chills down my spine in the same way.)

I have a soft spot in my heart for Betty Crocker’s ubiquitous baking mix. Bisquick was in heavy rotation in my house growing up – mostly for pancakes and strawberry shortcake. And don’t get me started on the joys of “Impossible Pie” – which weirdly yet magically forms its own crust while baking. (If you’ve never had the pleasure, don’t worry: Next up in THE BISQUICK PHASE is the recipe adjacent to “Pumkin” Pie: Cheeseburger Pie.)

In my teens, Bisquick played another important role. I would skip school and head to a friend’s house … to make Bisquick coffee cake. Yes, you read that correctly. I wasn’t sneaking off to see my college-age boyfriend, or smoking cigarettes behind the dumpster. I was skipping Pre-Calc to make brunch.  

But, enough reminiscing. Here we are, the first week of October, and I’m itching to start my fall baking. My husband and I often lament that, although we love it, we only eat pumpkin pie in the short window between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Enter this sweet little recipe – 9-year-old's misspelling and all. While I’m not sure this “pumkin” will qualify as real pie, it’s worth a shot for a Tuesday night.

What’s not to love about a pie you whip up in the blender? It took all of three minutes to dump the ingredients into the pitcher and hit “puree.” The only thing I’ve made that’s been easier was the Chocolate Peanut-Butter Milkshake, and that, you know, seemed appropriate – since it was a milkshake. But I’m not complaining about any dessert with such a short prep. The real test, as always, is the taste.

After baking for 55 minutes, my “Pumkin” Pie ie was ready. Taste and smell are powerful memories, and with one bite it really did feel like the last Thursday in November instead of the first Tuesday in October.

This is more pumpkin custard than pie, but it hits all the right notes: Creamy, spicy, pumpkin-y. Like traditional pumpkin pie, it is best served chilled. The Bisquick really does its magic to firm up the bottom. And, while not a “crust” by any stretch of the imagination, it does definitely have a bottom layer.

It’s tasty, but it’s no pie. Then again, it’s not Thanksgiving. I say, give it try when you just have to have the comfort of the holidays, but you only have five minutes to spare. Or, you know, you’ve skipped Senior math and need something to do …

"Pumkin" Pie

¾ cup sugar

½ cup Bisquick baking mix

2 T. margarine

1 can (13 oz) evaporated milk

2 eggs

1 can (16 oz) pumpkin

2-1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

2 teaspoons vanilla

Heat oven to 350-degrees. Grease 9” pie plate. Beat all ingredients until smooth; 1 minute in blender on high or 2 minutes with hand beater. Pour into plate. Bake until knife inserted in center comes out clean, 50-55 minutes.

Notes:

·      I don’t use prepared pumpkin pie spice. Here, I used 1 tsp. each of cinnamon and ginger, and ¼ tsp. each of cloves and nutmeg. Add or subtract spices as you see fit.

·      Definitely better the longer it chills. And few things don’t improve with a dollop of whipping cream, am I right?

 

Why Don’t You …

·      Consider this a “lighter” alternative to regular pie?

Praline Crescent Dessert

Call them what you will: These are GOOD!

Of all the Time Capsule recipes I’ve prepared to date, this one seems the most likely candidate to not only have been loved by a child, but to have been developed by one, too. I mean, look at that ingredient list: crisp rice cereal, coconut, crescent rolls … add some marshmallow fluff and bubble gum ice cream, and you’ve reached an 8-year-old’s version of nirvana.

If not created by a child, then perhaps it was developed on a dare. It’s like Iron Chef drove the DeLorean back to 1985: Your ingredients are margarine, pecans and powdered sugar. Go! (And don’t forget, we want to be able to garnish it with whipped cream!)

How many ingredients do you have in your pantry right now?

I pride myself on being able to have a good idea of what a recipe will look and taste like before I start preparing it. This one, however, was perplexing from start to finish, no doubt thanks to the “Dessert” in the title. The first step was to prepare a simple caramel by melting the margarine and brown sugar. The addition of the sour cream to the caramel added a nice tangy bite that helped balance the overwhelming sweetness of the remaining ingredients.

 Next, the crescent rolls (love those crescent rolls!) are pressed into muffin cups and filled with a sweetened cream-cheese filling. Finally, they’re topped with the cereal, nuts and coconut, which you’ve coated in the caramel, like a Rice Krispie Treat died and went to heaven.

The filling reminds me a little of German Chocolate Cake frosting.

During the Dessert’s quick stint in the oven, the kitchen filled with a wonderful, sugary, bread-y, coconutty aroma, Out of the oven, they were beautiful, if still a mystery. The cereal looked like it retained some of its crunch, as did the nuts and, to a lesser extent, the coconut. The crescent rolls, golden brown and puffy (love those crescent rolls!), enveloped all that sugary goo like the true supermarket champions they are.  

And, first bite: Oh thank you, prepackaged food gods. “Dessert” may be a misnomer, but frankly, who cares what this is called?  It’s like a pecan pie and cheese Danish got married and decided to honeymoon on a crescent roll. SOOOOOOO good and gooey and sticky and chewy and just altogether a wonderful surprise.  

So in case it isn’t obvious by now: I am an 8-year-old at heart, and I bet you are, too. So go on, roll out the pantry staples and run to the grocery if you have to. I dare you not to love this one.

Golden brown and hot out of the oven.

Praline Crescent Dessert

1/3 cup Parkay margarine or butter

½ cup firmly packed brown sugar

3 tablespoons dairy sour cream

1 cup crisp rice cereal

½ cup chopped pecans or nuts

½ cup coconut

8-oz. can Pillsbury Refrigerated Quick Crescent Dinner Rolls

3-oz. package Philadelphia Brand cream cheese, softened

2 tablespoons powdered sugar

Heat oven to 375-degrees. In small saucepan, over low heat, melt margarine. Add brown sugar; cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add sour cream; cook 4 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Remove from heat. Add cereal, nuts and coconut; stir to coat evenly. Separate dough into 8 triangles. Press each triangle to cover bottom and sides of ungreased muffin cups. Combine cheese and powdered sugar. Spread rounded teaspoonful over bottom of each cup. Spoon heaping tablespoonful cereal mixture into each cup.

Bake at 375-degrees for 11 to 16 minutes until deep golden brown. Serve topped with whipped cream, if desired. Store in refrigerator. 8 servings.

An ooey-gooey treat.

Notes:

·      I found the whipping cream to be overkill, but you may feel differently, especially if you do choose to serve these as an après-supper treat.

·      You’re missing out if you’re not in the kitchen RIGHT NOW preparing these. Don’t be a snob – just go.

Why Don’t You …

·      Serve these with breakfast or brunch? As much as it is possible – if not advisable – to eat these around the clock, I think they would really come into their own served with some savory morning dishes to balance their awesome sweetness. I’m telling you right now, you will need to double the recipe.

Spicy Apple Muffins

There’s spicy and then there’s spicy, and these muffins land somewhere on the mild, but delicious, side of that definition (and decade, for that matter).

The best way to date this recipe for Spicy Apple Muffins comes from the reverse side of the yellowed newspaper it’s been cut out of. Ads for a nearby oceanfront resort trumpet an amazing new attraction: The Jacuzzi! Walt Disney’s animated Robin Hood is playing at local theaters. And, yes, speaking of spicy: Totally Nude Girls are Live on Stage. Narrow it down? Yes, it’s 1983!

             Courtesy of my daughter’s first name, we’re always at the top of the alphabetically ordered list for providing classroom snack. Far be it from me to supply a week’s worth of junk. (I’ll wait ‘til at least Wednesday to bring in the Goldfish, thank you very much.) Enter Spicy Apple Muffins, a wholesome and seasonally appropriate treat.

            These are straightforward muffins, and quick to prepare. I like the whole-wheat flour and chunks of apple. Though usually not a huge fan of Golden Delicious, these worked well – some chunks melted nicely into the batter, and some retained a little bite. The fall aroma of apple and spice is always so comforting. The recipe notes that these would be delicious served with quiche, and that’s probably true, but they’re yummy any time of day.

            Spicy, however, they are not. The blend of cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg is pleasing, but meek. I would bump the quantities up by at least a ¼ teaspoon each. Then you’ll be on par with Jacuzzis, and Disney foxes.

 

Spicy Apple Muffins

1-1/2 cups sifted all-purpose flour

¾ teaspoon salt

4 teaspoons baking powder

¾ teaspoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon allspice

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons brown sugar

¼ cup whole wheat flour

1 egg

1 cup skimmed milk

1/3 cup melted shortening or vegetable oil

1 medium Golden Delicious apple, peeled and diced

1.     Sift all-purpose flour, measure and resift with salt, baking powder, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg and sugar. Combine with brown sugar and whole wheat flour.

2.     Beat egg; add milk and melted shortening or oil. Combine with dry ingredients, stirring just until moistened. Add diced apple.

3.     Fill greased muffin (tin) 2/3 full. Bake at 400-degrees 20 to 25 minutes or until lightly golden. Makes 12 muffins.

Notes:

·      I added ¼ teaspoon each of ground ginger and ground cloves. I would go higher next time.

·      Mini muffins took 8-9 minutes in my oven, and produced about 30 muffins.

Why Don’t You …

Add ½ cup of chopped walnuts or pecans to the batter?

·      Add an apple-cider glaze? Add apple cider to confectioners’ sugar until it’s thin enough to drizzle.

·      Or what about topping with an easy streusel? Mash together softened butter and brown sugar – and nuts, if you haven’t already put them in the batter – until crumbly.

Meat Roll Ups

You may not believe me, but I'll let you in on a secret: refrigerated biscuits were my first love.  At the tender age of three, I was slapping raw rounds of pre-sliced dough into a greased cake pan, and staring through the oven door, counting down the minutes ‘til those hot flaky goodies were on my plate.

So cute!

Although I make my share of homemade bread, I cannot deny my undying love of a buttery crescent roll – sweet vessel of chemical yeastiness that it is. I love the anticipation – like waiting for a firework to burst – as you slowly, slowly, slowly unwrap the paper from the canister until it explodes.  I love how the biscuits are perfectly pre-perforated, like the Pillsbury Doughboy himself has been busy with the kitchen shears inside the tube.

This recipe, a cut-out from an unnamed magazine, starts like so many relics of the 80's, with the immortal words: “Brown ground beef and soup mix in a skillet.” (Ah, sweet dreams of Hamburger Helper!) And though the name shows a singular lack of imagination, its mission is clear: Improve on the already-perfect crescent roll by stuffing it with beef, cheese and onion soup mix. I'm in!

Hungry already, aren't you?

Although browning the beef and soup mix was a sensory delight, patting miniscule dabs of beefy cheese filling onto half a triangle of flabby dough did not for a relaxing weeknight meal-prep make. I wish there was a photo with this recipe, because I’m fairly certain these tidbits were meant as an appetizer. I mean, when was the last time you halved a crescent roll? I know this is the millennium of excess, but still, I think, cocktail hour or no, we could all probably eat more than half a biscuit.

I wish computers had scratch-n-sniff.

After rolling 16 of these teeny tiny “pigs in blanket”-style cocktail weenies, I decided to super size. The full-size crescent roll holds about 1 T. of filling and you don’t need 20 of them to make a meal. They’re not as cute as the little piggies – I mean, I almost cooed when the babies came out of the oven, all golden brown and perfectly adorable.  But then the thought of rolling another 32 dropkicked me back to reality.

Taste-wise, these don't disappoint. The crescent roll is buttery and flaky, and creates a nice crust around the seasoned meat and cheese.  But they’re shockingly unsubstantial. I ate three big ones, and only consumed 3 T. of meat. Total. They’re cute as a button and easy to boot, but you’ll want to save them for a pre-dinner nosh. I’ve got 16 of them headed for my freezer, so if you stop by at cocktail hour, you know what I’ll be serving.

Meat Roll Ups

Mom (bottom) and babies (top).

1 pound lean ground beef

1 envelope onion soup mix

1 cup grated cheddar cheese

3 8-ounce packages refrigerated crescent rolls

Combine beef and soup mix in skillet and cook over medium-high heat until meat is browned. Drain off any excess fat. Stir in cheese and set aside to cool.

Preheat oven to 375-degrees. Roll out dough. Cut each crescent in half, making 16 triangles from each package. Place a heaping teaspoonful of meat mixture on each triangle and roll to enclose. Place on ungreased cookie sheet, tucking point of dough under roll. Bake 13 to 15 minutes. Serve warm, or let cool and freeze. To serve after freezing, warm in preheated 325-degree oven for 10-15 minutes.

Notes:

·      I found it helpful to mound the beef mixture onto one end of the dough before rolling – squeezing into a sausage shape, almost.

·      These would be good dipped into marinara.

·      The super size version takes 15 minutes in the oven, and about 1T. of filling.

·      Goodness, is powdered onion soup mix a salt bomb. If there is a low-sodium version of this helper, I’d be on-board. Otherwise, have a pitcher of water nearby.

Why Don’t You …

·      Take the recipe’s direction and freeze a batch of these for an impromptu get-together. Think how glamorous you’ll feel when an unannounced guest arrives, and you mosey over to the deep freeze: “What? These scrumptious things? Why, I whipped them up ages ago!”